Should I move to California?
If you take the time to read this, then you’re an amazing person, haha. (:
Alright, so where do I begin? I don’t know if this is a stupid question or not, (I sure hope it isn’t lol) but I probably need other peoples advice on a question thats been in my head for years. I live in Westchester, New York. I have so many mixed feelings about living here. Mostly, not so good feelings. Most of them are probably stupid like, I’m not really into the whole "four seasons" kinda thing or cold weather for that matter, or how we don’t have In-N-Out here, or how it seems like people here are kinda rude or whatever. Then my other probably more reasonable bad feelings are how I lost so many good friends here, and I can’t seem to make any others, and its really expensive to live here. I’ll be 16 in August, by the way, and I live with my mom. (My parents are divorced) This is when all the other more reasonable reasons on why I shouldn’t be here come into place. All my moms friends and family are in California. Sometimes I see her cry because shes not with her father for his "final years", which really upsets me to hear, and how his wife (my moms mom died of cancer years ago) had a stroke recently and hes having a really hard time with taking care of her by himself, when he himself is having a hard time. He lives in Ventura Beach, then my Uncle Micheal, and Aunt Dorothy live in Valencia, then my Aunt Michelle lives in Bakersfeild (only god knows why …) with all my cousins, who I never see, and love so very much! Oh! Then my cousin Rachel, and her new husband Shane live in Frazier Park. That being said we would live somewhere in that area if we moved. Anyway, especially after seeing some recent photos of all of them together on Easter, really tugged on my heart strings, and my mothers as well. Shes alone out here, except for her Uncle Tony in Long Island. Were a big italian family thats so far away from each other, and it saddens me to know this. Now the reasons why I would stay would be, I do love it here sometimes. Its pretty if you go to the nicer areas. My backyard has a view of some mountains and woods, and I live down the street from my barn (Oh thats another thing, I’m worried living out there I wouldn’t be able to find a nice barn for me to ride at, especially when I do english, and its the "West" coast, unless theres a ton and this question is stupid? I wouldnt know!) Also, my dad lives here, and his family. I would visit them over vacations, and he could visit me. I would miss my grandparents, aunts and uncles and especially my cousin Sara, whom I’m very close with! I will be honest though, I don’t seem much of them either, so nothing would feel that different. I do love my dad though very much, even if he’s not around so much. I would miss our fishing trips together, mostly … Wow I’m totally crying right now thinking about it … and then the few friends I have here too, like my best friend Taylor, and then my "boy friend". I put parentheses because I have no idea whats going on right now. I know we love each other so much but there’s been very, very hard times. He’s a big, BIG reason why I’m staying here. We’ve known each other since kinder garden, I can still remember the first time we met on the swing set, and we’ve been inseparable since. We both just had some medical issues lately, (nothing too life threatening) so we haven’t had time to see each other or talk. We’ve been together for a VERY long time, and if any of you say "you’re too young to know what love is" then I’m sorry but you’re wrong. I will love him weather I’m with him and living here, or not with him and helping my grandfather in California. So anyway, I guess that’s all. I do have a concern though, earth quakes. Especially after seeing the damage in Haiti, and Japan. (Those poor people! My heart goes out to them!) I don’t know if thats a stupid concern, either lol, I have asked some people once and what they told me was "Oh so youre scared of a little earth quake?! I’ve lived here all my life and haven’t witnessed one yet!" Well, yes I am scared lol. My kittys are also of concern. I don’t want to get rid of them. Living out here in NY, every single home for rent says "NO PETS" and some accept pets if we pay extra money (like I am now). I would never, under any circumstances get rid of my cats. Same goes for my mom. I only have two. Silvia and Molly. So in conclusion, thats about it. I keep saying all my life I’d go out there for my mom, and family, and what not, but it seems like the longer I stay here deciding whether I should or not the harder it is to go. I will miss how good our pizza is here, and I probably will get fat from all the Carls Jr and what not that we dont have out here, but I don’t know. I just need advice, please and thank you! (:
I can relate to your feelings, I really can. We lived on the east coast for over 20 years (my husband most of his life, in NY and NJ) when we learned that my husband was going to be transferred to CA. At first I was horrified because CA is the land of earthquakes–but by the time my husband’s plant finally closed 2 1/2 years later, I was so excited about moving to CA that I could hardly wait.
So we moved to CA and I loved it, but I also missed the east coast where most of our family lives.
Then to our surprise, my husband’s employer moved my husband’s entire group back east again 4 years later where we now live in PA.
So do I miss CA? Yes. Did I miss the east coast when I lived in CA? Yes. It’s like the old Neil Diamond song, "I Am…I Said," [Maybe you're too young to know that song. Do look it up on Youtube and listen to it]. Diamond sings of being torn between his two homes, LA and NY.
But instead of grieving over one place or the other, I’m just so THANKFUL that I was blessed with the opportunity to live in both places. How lucky I am!
So it’s perfectly understandable how you’re torn between the two places, CA and the east–but what that says about you is that you have a life that’s full of love and life and people, and that’s a healthy thing.
So, TO ADDRESS YOUR QUESTION?? Best thing for you to do for now is to simply go VISIT your family in CA, spend a little time with them, and try to get a feeling for what you think you’d like most to do, all things considered.
If you’re determined to have a horse and a barn in CA–well, that of course will limit you to perhaps, to ‘not being able to do it at all.’ While you’re visiting your family (whom I assume you would want to live fairly close to), see if it’s possible to board a horse that’s near where you’d want to live.
English saddle vs. Western? Don’t worry about little things like that, Californians don’t. Lots of people prefer English saddles to Western.
Also, pets? Cats? In CA, like here out east, many landlords won’t accept pets, so that will restrict you too.
Pizza? We missed our east coast pizza too, but CA has it’s own neat things to eat, like artichoke and goat cheese pizza and tons of delicious mexican food.
ANOTHER POSSIBILITY: Given the high cost of relocating and the low likelihood that you’ll find a place that meets your horse/barn needs then the simplest, most cost-effective thing to do might be to simply make the decision that you’ll fly out to CA for a few weeks every year to spend time with your mother and your family. Consider yourself lucky in this regard. Hey, I don’t have family in CA to go stay with, so I don’t have that option (my parents lived in TX so that’s where I went). That sadly makes CA a thing of the past for me for the most part.
Whatever you decide, good luck, and have fun on your visit to Ca.
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